Sophs Have A Ten-thirty Under "Fatty".
Fatty Wise—Dispenser of knowledge concerning the English Language.
Pee Wee Adams—A pious pupil.
Paulos Munro—A rowdy ruffian.
Hendie Warren—A great "shoot 'em up."
Parson Henderson—A boisterous bully.
Dixie Wade—A ministerial student.
Sambo Harrell—A tobacco toper.
Grady Clay—A faculty favorite.
Irish Mackay—A Shamrock sport.
SCENE—Lecture room of English Teacher at Emory College.
TIME —Ten thirty a. m.
(Fatty enters and hears loud and boisterous shouts, sees lumps of coal sailing
across the room, while Paulos and Sambo assiduously apply the lighted ends
of their cigarettes to the necks of the few who are trying to study a little befora
the recitation begins.)
Fatty—(lifting his chubby hand in protest)—Gentlemen, let's have order
while the roll is called. You should not hurl that coal around in that manner—
a piece only missed my head.
Parson (jumping to his feet): Why, Fatty, I assure you that it is a source
of regret to the entire class that it was hurled in that manner. We promise bet¬
ter marksmanship in the future.
Fatty: I certainly hope that you will do better in the future. (Great
(Roll is called, Paulos answering "here" for six of the absentees, while Sambo
and Parson take care of the other eleven.)
Fatty—I congratulate the class on such splendid attendance. Mr. Clay
may recite and I am assured of a perfect recitation. Mr. Clay, give the principal
parts of sprecan.
Grady—Base-on-balls, stolen-base, two-bagger, score. (Tremendous applause
from the class on such perfect rendition.)
Fatty—Mr. Munro may recite.
Dixie (springing to his feet)—Now, Fatty, you are well acquainted with the
fact that Paulos is not a man to be guilty of knowledge, and, according to
all the fixed rules of justice, you do him a grave wrong in requesting him to
Fatty—Noble words well spoken my sunny-haired youth.
Paulos—Fatty, I thank you; Dixie, I thank you for thus sparing me em¬
barrassment. (Tremendous applause.)
(At this juncture Fatty espies Sambo silently sucking a pimp stick.)
Fatty—Mr. Harrell, I prefer that you do not smoke cigarettes in this room.
Sambo (extinguishing cigarette and lighting cigar)—Beg pardon, your cor¬
pulent highness, I was unaware of your dislike for the pimp stick.
Fatty—Mr. Harrell, please discontinue smoking altogether while in here.
(Fatty fails to see the enormous chew of tobacco which Sambo bites off,
being busy dodging a lump af coal from the villainous hand of Irish