Poorsub—Please do not report me, Professor.
Pug (a holy look on his face) —I have my Christian duty to perform, and
consequently I must report you. I go to announce the news to my venerable
master. (Exit Pug. Curtain.)
(Place: A twentieth century poker joint—(Dickey's office)—with a game in
progress. It is Sunday night. The four players, Jim Dickey, Madam Peed,
Zeke Turner and Baldy Pep, have all cut church in order to have a good old-
Zeke (in a faraway voice)—Waiter, bring me a glass of beer. (The beer
is brought and as Zeke slowly blows away the foam, he murmurs in a dreamy
tone), Ah, this reminds me of school days in Germany.
Madam (laying down his cards)—W-a-a-1 naow! As I have four of a kind,
the pot is mine. (Pep's bald head commenced shining and a beatific grin spread
over his face and even his shining head seemed joyful.)
Pep—Not yet, old girl; cast your eyes over my Royal straight flush. It
seems that I get the money.
Dickey (with a venerable wave of his hand) —Hold! Not by the hair of
Absalom. Perceive the four deuces and the joker which now 1 show you.
Madam—W-a-a-1 naow! By all the six trigonometric functions I have lost.
Pep (his voice quivering with rage, fires a beer bottle at Dickey's head—
Sneak, you cheated. Accept that bottle as a token of my regard.
Zeke (mourning his pair of threes)—I wonder what my dear old professor
in Germany would think of this row.
(Rap, rap, rap! Someone knocks at the door. They are rash. They care
not who sees them now.)
Dickey (with a roaring voice)—Come in this room.
Pep (squeaking with his head leaning to one side like a parrot)—Ah! Do
please come in.
Madam—W-a-a-1 naow! Put one leg over and crawl in.
Zeke (with a strong Latin accent)—G-r-rease your-r back and slide under-r.
(Pug enters meekly with downcast eyes. His reverence for the others is
clearly shown in his face.)
Pug—Most reverent brother professors, I have discovered something which
I hope will merit your approval. I was over at the midnight train and saw
Hardluck Poorsub get back from a trip to Atlanta. As I know that he had
no permission to go, this will be a chance to fire him.
Madam—Snide! Why has your conduct been so rash? The number of
students is already low. Without intercollegiate athletics, and with a few
more like you on the faculty, our enrollment will be reduced to 23.
Dickey—It has been our policy to overlook such actions as the one you have
just reported. But since it has come directly before us, we will have to ship
Poorsub. How it does grieve my heart to to have perform such a sad duty.
(As it is now 3 o'clock, they retire to their respective homes.)
(Place:—Back of the old gymnasium. It is just at nightfall. Jim Dickey