" Looking back upon my past life and
feeling my hell-desert; deserving nothing
but the bottomless pit; and this brings
me to feel that nothing but the grace of
God has kept me till this day."
" You often speak of feeling so heavy
Jacob, what do you mean by that?"
" So heavy ?"
" You spoke of it this morning, as hav
ivig that feeling before you went into the
* " 0, yes, when I look back and see my
sins; when the Lord takes away his Spi¬
rit from me, and leaves me to myself, then
I feel very heavy and distressed by my
sin and guilt, till the Saviour appears to
me again by his Spirit, and I feel like a
new man, and I feel that my Saviour has
come to me and raises me up, and puts
joy and gladness into my heart, and causes
me to feel light and joyful. I have often
felt that if I was left to myself, if it was
not for the grace of God and his Spirit,
that I should go into despair, and sink in