History of the Freshman Class
Happy are the people whose annals are short. Someone has paraphrased
this great truth, "The greatest people are those whose annals are short." It
especially ill becomes a Freshman to make any sweeping claims of superiority for
his class; therefore I will not claim the paraphrase, but will endeavor to give
the facts about this brilliant and heroic Class of 1914.
The real history of this class should not be written just yet, for the mishaps
and misfortunes through which we have passed have only recently gone by and
we are handicapped by the deficiency in the amount of material consequent to
our comparatively short career as a class. While some of our members who have
had the pleasure of emerging from the dark and shadowy regions of Subdom have
begun to "get on" to the ways of college life, a goodly number of us have had to
hurry and lose no time since last September in catching the college spirit.
In the field of study we have held our own, being composed of stars that
sleep by night and shine by day; mathematicians who are busily engaged in work¬
ing out the problem that is familiarly known as "bootlicking;" logicians who
have concluded that college life is a non-studying experimental theorem; men
who claim that sewing machines were invented in the fourteenth century and
that America was discovered in 1732; and finally, members of the "Sinecure Club"
whose motto is, "No work between meals." Does anyone doubt that, with such
classroom ability, it is beyond the pale of possibility for this brilliant class to
achieve heights hitherto unknown.
In athletics we have made a very creditable showing and have hopes of com¬
ing back next year prepared to win every athletic honor that shows itself upon
the horizon. In football we have done well, tying for third place—which is a very
excellent record for a Freshman class. In the relay race we made a very good
showing and in the relay scraps that followed we succeeded in keeping the "rag,"
thereby gaining a victory over our rivals, the Sophomores. And in basketball
we turned out a very good team, but with little success. Our faith and hopes
are fastened upon our baseball team, for we have some of the best material in col¬
lege and hope to win the pennant.
Notwithstanding its political reputation, the hearty geniality that pervades
the class shows that the best of good friendship exists and that loyalty to each
other and faithfulness to the F'aculty are among our cardinal virtues. Well.
indeed, may we be merry for we have passed over the Bridge of Sighs and New (?)
Jokes on which stood "Madam," Analyt and Trig., and forced our last laugh at
his pointless stories.
Whatever others may say about our class it undeniably has many different
types in it: sports, dudes; bone-grinders, bootlickers and ladies' men. Espe¬
cially, ladies' men, for on any Sunday afternoon one may see the Midway and Cov.
sports doing things up properly.
Despite our varied abilities and dispositions, ours has been a pleasant asso¬
ciation. Perhaps the very difficult nature of our work makes us the happier.
Whatever may be the cause we have been happy together, and our class is a class
of men who are tried and true and in whom exists a strong and enduring love for
their Alma Alater.
E. M. Smith, Historian.