72 CHOICE BITS FROM MARK TWAIN.
know what was the real reason of the absence of
the abandoned creature whom they denominate
their standard bearer. A certain man was seen to
reel into Mr. Twain''s hotel last night in a state of
beastly intoxication. It is the imperative duty of
the Independents to prove that this besotted brute
was not Mark Twain himself. We have them at
last! This is a case that admits of no shirking.
The voice of the people demands in thunder-tones,
' Who was that man ?'"
It was incredible, absolutely incredible, for a
moment, that it was really my name that was
coupled with this disgraceful suspicion. Three long
years had passed over my head since I had tasted
ile, beer, wine, or liquor of any kind.
[It shows what effect the times were having on
me when I say that I saw myself confidently
dubbed " Mr. Delirium Tremens Twain" in the
next issue of that journal without a pang—not¬
withstanding I knew that with monotonous fidelity
the paper would go on caUing me so to the very
end.]
By this time anonymous letters were getting to
be an important part of my mail matter. This
form was common—
"How about that old woman you kiked of your
premisers which was beg-ng.
Pol Pry."
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